The 10 Things I Wish I Knew Before Becoming a Mom

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Honest Lessons, Real Mom Moments, and Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me

Becoming a mom is one of the most life-changing experiences—but no matter how many books you read, advice you get (wanted or unwanted), or hours you spend preparing, nothing truly prepares you for it. Some things you just have to experience firsthand!

Looking back, here are 10 things I wish I had known before becoming a mom—the good, the hard, and the beautifully unexpected.

1. The Love You Feel Is Overwhelming (In the Best & Hardest Ways)

I knew I’d love my baby, but I didn’t realize how all-consuming that love would be. It’s a love so deep and overwhelming that it almost takes your breath away. The moment I held my baby for the first time, something inside me shifted—I wasn’t just me anymore; I was someone’s mom.

That love is beautiful, but it’s also terrifying. This tiny human depends on you for everything, and suddenly, your world revolves around their needs. You feel this fierce, primal protectiveness you never expected—like you would do anything, literally anything, to keep them safe. You start worrying about things you never even thought about before: Are they eating enough? Are they breathing okay while they sleep? Should I wake them up to check? What if I make the wrong decision?

But here’s the part I didn’t expect: That love is also what gets you through. It’s what keeps you going on the hardest days, what makes the exhaustion worth it, and what fills you with more joy than you ever thought possible. It’s messy, emotional, and sometimes overwhelming, but it’s also the most powerful thing I’ve ever felt.

2. Sleep Deprivation Is a Whole New Level of Exhaustion

I thought I knew what being tired felt like… but newborn sleep deprivation is next level. When I was pregnant and struggling to sleep—tossing and turning, waking up every hour to pee, dealing with heartburn and an active baby kicking at 3 AM—I remember thinking, Wow, this must be what sleep deprivation feels like. This is as bad as it gets. Spoiler: It was not as bad as it gets.

Pregnancy exhaustion is like a preview, but the real marathon starts when your baby arrives. At least when you're pregnant, you can still take naps (if life allows) and close your eyes in peace. Once the baby is here, sleep comes in broken, unpredictable stretches—if it comes at all. The nights blur into days, and somehow, you learn to function in a permanent state of exhaustion. You’ll do things like put your phone in the fridge, forget what day it is, and drink cold coffee like it’s a personality trait. It’s rough.

But here’s the thing—your body adapts. You learn to survive on power naps, and the little smiles and snuggles make the exhaustion worth it. It doesn’t last forever (even though it feels like it in the moment), and eventually, you’ll sleep again… kind of.

3. Your Body Won’t Feel Like Your Own for a While (and That’s Okay)

I thought I had prepared myself for postpartum, but nothing could have fully prepared me for just how intense the recovery would be. I had what felt like the sampler platter of labors—nothing went according to plan, and my body ended up in a completely different place than I ever imagined.

For the first week postpartum, I looked down and barely recognized myself. My legs had swollen into what I can only describe as tree trunks from all the fluid retention. I was expecting to feel lighter after giving birth, but nope—I was the exact same weight postpartum as I was when I was nine months pregnant. The water retention was so intense that even my feet felt foreign. And then came the night sweats—waking up drenched as my body tried to regulate itself again.

And let’s not forget the other fun surprises—hair shedding in clumps, hormonal mood swings that had me crying over the most random things, and just feeling like a stranger in my own skin. Postpartum is a lot, and I wish more people talked about how real and raw that transition is.

4. Feeding a Baby Is Harder Than It Looks (No Matter How You Do It)

Whether it’s breastfeeding, formula, or a mix of both, there’s a learning curve—a big one. No matter what you choose (or what ends up choosing you), feeding a baby is not as simple as it looks. There’s this idea that breastfeeding is "natural," so it should come easily, but for many moms, it’s anything but. There can be latching issues, supply struggles, clogged ducts, pain, and endless middle-of-the-night Google searches about whether your baby is eating enough. And then, if you go the formula route, there’s a whole other set of challenges—finding the right one, dealing with bottle refusal, and, of course, the unsolicited opinions from everyone and their mother.

Because, oh boy, the opinions will come. From strangers, family members, online forums—you name it. Someone always has something to say about how you’re feeding your baby, as if it's up for debate. If you breastfeed, you might hear, “Are you sure the baby’s getting enough? Maybe you should supplement.” If you formula-feed, you might get the side-eye from someone who thinks it’s “less than.” And if you do both? Well, then you just get both sets of opinions.

Here’s what I wish I had known: The best way to feed your baby is whatever works best for you and your baby—period. At the end of the day, a fed baby is a happy baby, and a mentally healthy mom is just as important as the food source. There’s no gold medal for how you do it, so give yourself grace, tune out the noise, and do what works for your family.

5. Baby Gear Is Overwhelming—You Don’t Need It All

I researched so many baby products, convinced I needed every highly-rated, mom-approved gadget out there. I spent hours reading reviews, watching “must-have” videos, and adding things to my registry that I was sure would make life easier. But in reality? You don’t need half of what you think you do. Babies are unpredictable, and what works for one baby might be completely useless for another.

Some things, though, were absolute lifesavers. A great diaper bag is a must—I needed one that was functional, had plenty of space, and could handle the chaos of being on the go. A lightweight, easy-to-fold stroller became essential for quick trips and everyday outings. I didn’t realize how often I’d be breaking it down to throw in the car or juggling a baby while trying to open it one-handed. A comfy baby carrier saved my arms and let me get things done while keeping my baby close. And zip-up onesies? Total game-changer. I learned very quickly that dealing with tiny snaps at 3 AM is a special kind of torture.

On the flip side, there were things I thought I needed but barely touched—like wipe warmers (babies don’t care), fancy baby shoes (adorable but totally impractical), and a changing table (the couch or bed ended up being my go-to).

Every baby is different, and you won’t know what works until you’re in the thick of it. You can always buy more later, but in the beginning, less is truly more.

6. Mom Guilt Is Real (And Never Really Goes Away)

No matter what you do, you’ll always feel like you should be doing more. It’s like an unspoken rule of motherhood—no matter how much you give, there’s always this little voice whispering, Am I doing enough? Could I be doing more? You could spend the whole day feeding, changing, rocking, playing, and soothing your baby, and still, there will be a moment where you wonder if you should’ve read one more book, done more tummy time, or soaked up more snuggles instead of loading the dishwasher.

But here’s the thing—you can’t pour from an empty cup. Motherhood is demanding, and if you don’t take time for yourself, burnout is inevitable. It’s okay to take breaks, to step away for a few minutes (or a few hours), and to do things that make you feel like you again. Whether that’s sitting down with a cup of coffee while it’s still hot, taking a long shower without rushing, or asking your partner, family, or a friend to step in so you can rest—it all matters.

I really struggled with asking for help with our son. I thought that if I needed help, people would just know. I expected my husband and family to see when I was exhausted, overwhelmed, or running on fumes, and when they didn’t step in the way I needed, I got frustrated. But looking back, I never actually told them what I needed. I expected them to read my mind, to just get it without me saying a word.

The truth is, most people want to help, but they don’t always know how. I wish I had been more vocal and direct—saying things like, “Can you take the baby for an hour so I can nap?” or “I really need a break, can you handle bedtime tonight?” Instead of hoping my husband or family would magically figure it out, I should have just asked. I think if I had, the newborn stage would have been a little less overwhelming and a lot more enjoyable.

Asking for help is not a weakness—it’s a skill. A happy, rested mom = a happy baby, and sometimes, the best thing you can do for both of you is let others step in. Give yourself grace, communicate what you need, and remember—you are already doing enough.

7. Your Relationship with Your Partner Will Change

Going from just the two of you to parenting together is a huge adjustment. Before the baby, it was easy to focus on each other—you had date nights, uninterrupted conversations, and the freedom to do things on a whim. But once that tiny human enters the picture, everything changes. Suddenly, your lives revolve around feedings, diaper changes, and figuring out how to function on broken sleep. The exhaustion is real, and so is the stress.

Even the strongest relationships get tested in those first few months. You’re both navigating new roles, running on fumes, and adjusting to a completely different dynamic. Little things—like who’s getting up for the next feeding, who’s handling the endless pile of laundry, or even how to soothe the baby—can feel huge when you're sleep-deprived and overwhelmed. It’s easy to snap at each other or feel resentment creeping in, especially if one of you feels like they’re carrying more of the load.

I had a moment of realization that our relationship was never going to be the same, and honestly, it broke my heart. I had spent years building this incredible bond with my husband—he's my best friend, my safe place, my favorite person. And suddenly, I felt like I was losing that. This tiny, beautiful newborn, who I didn’t even know yet, was now taking up all my time, energy, and attention. And with that came guilt—guilt that I wasn’t giving enough to my baby, and guilt that I wasn’t giving enough to my husband. I was terrified that this shift might break what we had built, and that scared me more than I expected.

But here’s what I learned: While our relationship wasn’t the same, that didn’t mean it was gone. It was evolving. The love we had didn’t disappear—it just had to stretch and grow in a new way. It took time, intentional effort, and lots of communication, but eventually, we found a rhythm. We learned how to be partners in parenting, how to steal moments for us even in the chaos, and how to remind each other that we were still a team.

Talk openly about what you’re feeling, remind each other that you’re in this together, and give your relationship the grace to evolve. It won’t be the same as before—but that doesn’t mean it won’t be just as beautiful.

8. No One Really Knows What They’re Doing (Even “Experienced” Moms)

I used to think other moms had it all figured out—turns out, they don’t. Before becoming a mom, I would see other women effortlessly handling their babies, making it look so easy. I assumed they knew exactly what to do, that they had all the answers, and that somehow, I’d magically reach that level of confidence and certainty once my baby was born. But the reality? Every mom is just figuring it out as she goes.

I quickly learned that no two babies are the same. What works like a charm for one baby might be a total disaster for another. Some babies sleep through the night early, while others (like mine) act like sleep is optional. Some take a bottle without a fuss, while others refuse anything that’s not straight from mom. You’ll hear a million different opinions—about sleep training, feeding, soothing, schedules—and at some point, you’ll feel like you’re doing everything wrong.

I had moments where I doubted myself constantly. Am I doing this right? Why won’t my baby nap longer than 20 minutes? Why does everyone else’s baby seem so easy? But the more I talked to other moms, the more I realized—everyone struggles. Everyone has those moments of self-doubt. No one has all the answers. The difference is that some moms have just learned to trust themselves a little sooner.

Trust yourself. You know your baby better than anyone else. You are the best mom for your baby—not the mom on Instagram, not the mom in the parenting book, not the mom at the park who seems to have it all together. You.

9. It’s Okay If You Don’t “Enjoy Every Moment”

People say “Soak it all in!” and “Enjoy every moment, it goes by so fast!”—and while that’s true, let’s be real: not every moment is magical. Some moments are beautiful and heartwarming, like when your baby falls asleep on your chest, giggles for the first time, or reaches for you with those tiny hands. But other moments? They’re exhausting, frustrating, and overwhelming.

There are days when the crying feels nonstop, when you can’t remember the last time you ate a hot meal, and when you’re so sleep-deprived that you put the milk in the pantry and the cereal in the fridge. There are moments when you’ll feel touched out, overstimulated, and desperate for just five minutes of quiet. And then comes the guilt—because shouldn’t you be soaking it all in? Shouldn’t you be grateful for every second?

You can love your baby with every ounce of your being and still find some days really hard. You can cherish the newborn snuggles but also feel desperate for a full night’s sleep. You can feel grateful and also frustrated. You can struggle and love being a mom at the same time.

Motherhood isn’t about enjoying every second—it’s about embracing the journey, the highs and the lows. Some days you’ll feel like you’re thriving, and other days you’ll just be surviving, and both are okay.

10. It Really Does Go by Fast (Even When the Days Feel Long)

The baby stage feels never-ending in the moment—especially during those sleepless nights, the endless cycle of feeding and changing, and the days that seem to blur together. When you're in the thick of it, it’s easy to feel like this phase will last forever. The exhaustion, the cluster feedings, the unpredictable schedules—it can all feel overwhelming, like you’re stuck in a loop of survival mode.

But then, one day, you’ll wake up, and your baby won’t be so little anymore. Their tiny newborn onesies won’t fit, they’ll start reaching for things on their own, and suddenly, you’ll realize that those moments you thought would never end were actually passing by faster than you ever imagined. You’ll look back at photos and think, How were they ever that small? You’ll hear an old lullaby and remember the nights you rocked them in your arms. And even the hardest moments—the ones that felt impossible at the time—will become memories you hold close.

That’s why it’s so important to capture the little things. Take the photos, even when you’re tired. Record the videos, even if they seem mundane. Write down the funny, sweet, and even chaotic moments, because one day, those will be the memories you cherish the most.